Community Building Rules-of-the-Road

MuralWay back in the late 90’s, I was part of a thriving online community that felt like home to those of us who “lived” there. Then, after almost a decade, without consulting any of the community members, the organization that housed that community changed some critical parameters. And within a year, a community that had been thousands strong just faded away.

While many of us have experienced similar disappointments in our relationships with communities (both online and in real life), it doesn’t have to be that way. By understanding just a few rules-of-the-road, any community can be poised for ongoing connection.

Rule #1: You don’t own a community. The community does.
This is Rule #1 for a simple reason: This rule will make or break all the others.

The “owner” of my old-time community never got that. Because they owned the platform that supported the community, they assumed they could make all the decisions. Like many communities that fade away (or explode loudly), they learned Rule #1 the hard way.

Rule #2: You can’t make people join or stay. But you can create the conditions for them to want to do so.
Ask people what they feel when they are part of a community, and they will talk about feeling comfortable, encouraged, invited to engage, safe and open to explore.

And while they may also tell of an incident when they felt just the opposite, mostly what you’ll hear is that being in community feels good.

Which means that if you create an environment that makes people feel encouraged and safe and inspired, people will not only join, they will stick around.Mural

Rule #3: Know WHY you are building the community.
Whether the cause is saving the planet or selling Pepsi, community is the new buzzword. Sadly, most organizations don’t really care about building community; they see community as a path to revenues, whether that is donations or product sales.

Interestingly, brands like Pepsi, who were quick to jump on that “Please like us and become part of our community” bandwagon, are now facing the reality that those “likes” bear no real impact on revenues. As they eventually do with any other get-rich-quick fad, those organizations are reassessing the value of building community.

Talk about the power of Rule #1! When you know up front that community is about the community, you will ask, “What do you hope your community will accomplish? And for whom?” And you will then focus your planning on goals that will benefit everyone. Because community is simply not about you.

Rule #4: Know the difference between inviting and promoting.
If someone takes the time to personally invite me to something, I feel warm and fuzzy and happy. They chose ME. They want ME to be there!

Do you feel that way when you get a flyer for a charity event or a sale at the mall?

MuralThat is the difference between promoting your new community to the world vs. inviting people to join. Inviting is all about the conditions we noted in Rule #2 – the ways you want your community members to feel, from that very first moment of contact. Simply announcing your community won’t make me feel any of that.

Rule #5: Make it easier by building upon strengths.
Once your community is up and running, what remains is the job that dictionary.com defines as “to make easier” – the job of facilitating.

There are many ways in which great community facilitators make it easy for people to feel engaged. That person’s most important role, though, is a role few people talk about – the role of empowering the community itself as guardians of the safe, open environment that attracted them in the first place. And the fastest route to that result is to identify and build upon strengths that already exist in the community – strengths the group may not even know they have. In that one simple change of focus, you are making it easy for them to reach for their potential as a community. And that is the role of a true facilitator. 

Rule # 6: “Being the Change We Want to See” means walking the talk of our values*
It all comes down to being consistent about the values you want to uphold, and then being even more consistent about putting those values into action.

And so, before you discuss your role in facilitating the group; before you discuss what you want to accomplish; before you even begin to consider who to invite – the most important question to ask will be this one:

For your community to be just as you want it to be – what would people need to value? What would they need to feel? How would people need to behave?Mural

And what will WE do to walk that talk in every action we take?

Rule #7: Have fun.
With these pieces in place, you will find that your community will emerge as a place of fun, all on its own. Because you will have skillfully and mindfully established the conditions for that to happen.

And because more than anything, it’s not been about you. It’s been about the community.

* Rule #6 is one of the principles in “The Pollyanna Principles: Reinventing ‘Nonprofit Organizations’ to Create the Future of Our World.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.