Bringing out the best in ourselves and others starts not with our actions, but with the assumptions that guide those actions, the stories we tell ourselves that we believe simply as “the truth.”
What if those stories are not true? What if “those people” are not whatever assumptions we make about them. What if “that grumpy old guy” is really a sweet, tender, kind and caring man? What if our assumptions about all those other people in our lives are not only wrong, but are getting in the way of creating the humane, healthy world we all want?
In this short video, Hildy Gottlieb explains the role of “Brain Shortcuts” in creating our views of reality.
From there, the next step is to ask and listen to other people (and ourselves!) in ways that bring out their best vs. suspecting the worst in them. But the very first step is to understand that what we think of as the stone cold truth about other people may just be a story we are telling ourselves.
Such a good reminder. Stephen Covey tells the story of a man and his children on a commuter train leaving NYC. The children were wild and out of control. Covey finally said to the man, “Sir, would you please do something about your children?” To which the man replied, as if from a dream state, “Oh, I’m sorry. We just came from the hospital. Their mother died today and I guess they’re a little upset.”